This Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.

As we consider the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Rather, the experience was like reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.